It’s Sunday—a time for reflection, but also, let’s be honest, a time for dreading Monday.
I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to dread the start of each work week. I want to feel joy—or at the very least, not dread—in my work.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average employed person spends roughly 40 hours a week at work. Meanwhile, surveys show that the average American family spends only a few hours of quality time together each week. The disparity is concerning. And it makes me pause: is that really how I want to spend my time?
I genuinely like the people I work with, but when I look at the bigger picture, that’s not where my heart is. My family is my heart. My kids are only going to be living at home for a few more years—at best—and I feel this overwhelming need to soak up every single moment I can with them.
I dream about a different kind of life: growing and making my own food, canning, becoming more self-reliant. I want to invest my time in those kinds of activities—not in a job that makes my soul feel like it’s withering away. Don’t get me wrong; I’m grateful for the pay. It allows me to provide for my family, and I don’t take that for granted. But it’s coming at a very high cost: my mental and physical health, my marriage, and my relationships with my kids. I can only do so much, take on so much, bear so much.
Yesterday, I told my husband that I feel lost and, honestly, a bit trapped. Trapped by my income, by the security it provides, and by the lifestyle it sustains. And yet, I feel lost when it comes to what actually brings me joy and drives me forward.
The truth is, I don’t even know where to start. How do you figure out what fulfills you when you’ve spent so long simply trying to keep everything afloat? How do you peel back the layers of responsibility and stress to uncover the person you’re meant to be?