Our kids are pretty selective about their friends—our daughter especially. Both of them have formed a close-knit circle that feels more like family than just friends. We joke that while we only have two biological kids, in reality, it feels like we have ten. Our daughter’s closest bonds are with her cousins, and one of them stays at our house (or she stays at theirs) on the regular. Our son, on the other hand, has two or three best friends and a few others who are frequent visitors—usually working on cars, because, well, we have all the tools.
Many of these kids come from challenging family situations—some have lost a parent, others are adjusting to divorce, and several are just navigating life without a steady support system at home. We’re actually one of the few married couples among their friends’ parents, which can be heartbreaking to witness. My husband, who grew up with his own friends crowding around to work on cars in his parents’ driveway, loves having a similar scene at our home. For me, having a full house can be a bit overwhelming, but it’s reassuring to know where our kids are and who they’re with.
Now, we find ourselves unofficially “parenting” about eight to ten kids. They can hardly wait to share their news with us, and they come to us for advice, comfort, and even just a good meal. When they leave, they tell us they love us. They call us “mama” and “dad,” raid the fridge, and make themselves at home. We’ve come to think of them as part of our family, each one bringing their own story and spirit to our lives.
Another reason I am so grateful for my kids’ friends came on election night. Now, I don’t want to get too political here, but I had a profound moment of pride watching these young adults engage. Our son had four or five friends over, and while they were mostly focused on fixing cars, they kept coming inside to check on the election results. Each of them spoke thoughtfully about the process and the issues at hand. Their energy and curiosity were contagious, and it was heartwarming to see these young men and women embracing our political process with such enthusiasm.
I’ve reflected on that night so often over the past couple of weeks, filled with pride. Granted, we were all on the same page with the election outcome, but even if we hadn’t been, it was inspiring to see them actively care. Honestly, I’ve sometimes underestimated teenagers’ grasp of the world around them and their role in it. Yet here they were, engaging with genuine interest and passion. Whether we agree or disagree, seeing the next generation embrace the process so wholeheartedly gives me hope.
As we navigate this season of midlife, we feel incredibly grateful to provide not only love and support to these young people but also to model what healthy adult relationships can look like. It’s a privilege to be that steady presence, not just for our own kids, but for all the “extra” kids who’ve become part of our family. In a world that often feels uncertain, we’re thankful to play even a small role in showing them the strength, warmth, and resilience that meaningful relationships can bring.